The Black Hole

I think feeling alone has to be one of the hardest feeling for me to handle…

I sit here, in the dark, alone.

So alone.

So alone that I can’t think of a single person I can reach out to to help ease the pain.

That is terrifying.

And what makes it even worse is that I don’t even know how I got here. How I got to a place of having nobody. Because I certainly used to have plenty.

My life has become a spiral of nothingness. I go to work, through which I find no joy. I go to school, through which I find no joy. And then I sleep. I sleep because I have nothing else to enjoy. I sleep in hope of easing the pain. I sleep because sleep is my only friend. I sleep because I have no other option.

And yet I’m exhausted. I’m tired of having no joy, no hope, no goal to strive toward, no purpose.

It’s an emptiness in my chest that resembles a black hole. So large, so dark, so void of anything¬†that signifies life…

So where do I go from here?

Something has to change, but what? I’m stuck at my job, I go to school online, my options feel so limited.

So here I sit trying to think of a single person I can reach out to as my mind crawls towards the darkest corners of existence…

I’m alone.

So alone.

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One thought on “The Black Hole”

  1. When I had unending depression I had to get meds. It was really the only thing that started pulling me out of it. I needed something just to get me to where I could actually start doing things to help myself. It’s like trying to walk through molasses.

    Did you know they’ve actually shown in studies that people who are depressed see diminished colors? I always wondered why, when I came out of depression, everything looked so new, like I never saw the beauty in everything around me. “Looking through dark colored glasses” is literally true!

    Like

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